Oh Otis, you lovable, pathetic drunk

The Modern Drunkard examines the alchoholic culture of Mayberry.

This summer I got stranded in the town of Salem, MO when the alternator on my truck screwed the pooch. Salem is a Mayberryesque little town that serves as the gateway to the Ozark National Scenic Riverways. Salem also happens to be the home town of the legendary 60's bluegrass band The Dillards, who played, along with Denver Pyle, the rambunctious group of banjo pickin' hillbillies know as the Darling Family on the Andy Griffith show.

While I was waiting around for my Truck to get fixed I had a conversation with the guy in the auto parts shop about various things to to do and see in Salem which is, basically, nothing. But I did enjoy hearing that out in front of the courthouse they used to have an old conestoga wagon on display, but they had to take it away because the "Town Drunk" used to pass out in it.

It got me to thinking: Does a town only get to have one Town drunk or is the Town Drunk just the leader of a cadre of would-be town drunks? Who decides to award him with the title "Town Drunk"? Is it the sober citizens of the community or his besotted brethren? What happens when the town drunk dies or, heaven forbid, dries out? Do they have to find a Town drunk form another town or is there an apprentice ready to step into those gin soaked shoes?

Questions to ponder on your next bender...

P.S. if you've been thinking of creating a fullsize, working replica of the Mayberry Patrol Car, here's all the info you need.